she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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