I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize