With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
