Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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