Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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