I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
is that a dick in a sweater?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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