i barfeds in our rink
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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