ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
