highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
