Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize