Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
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So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
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i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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