Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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