thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
