Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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