Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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