I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
