At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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