Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
