He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
