A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize