Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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