weddingsv make me drug and hornr
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
