You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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