Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
