i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
