He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
