sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
this is an emotional support booty call
you made out with another girl for some wings
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
