I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
