R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize