We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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