So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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