Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
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I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again