I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot