idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Your dad touched me again.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.