Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize