A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
