my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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