So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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