loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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