I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
it glows. i had to have it.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
