remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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