I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize