ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
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We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
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You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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