I feel like abortions should bother me more
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
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