Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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