This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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