yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize