Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
