He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize