HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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