we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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