I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
