Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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