somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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