Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
