everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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