its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
