so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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