It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
